Friedrich Kling will generously match all donations to NBL dollar-for-dollar to a maximum of $5,000 (today’s tally is $1,426, with my thanks). Gifts of any amount are welcome. This opportunity is being made available until 28 February 2015. Thanks very much for your kind support, Frank.
The Only Thing Worse Than Having a Job is Looking for One
by Morty Finklestein
Applying for a job in the “real world” is the dumbest fucking thing one can do! Calling it a soul-destroying, farcical, invasive, epically moronic and ultimately pointless exercise in futility gives the process too much credit.
First off, you are always required to ‘fluff up’ your resume in order to make it look ‘presentable’. In other words, you must pull fiction straight out the ass because honesty from a potential employee is the last thing the fuckstain employer would ever want. Secondly, you must fill out mountains of paperwork, telling the company if you are a felon, if you are willing to take a piss test, if your credit rating is up to snuff. They need to, ya know, make double sure you’re an upstanding, obsequious grapehead that’ll dance for ‘em at the drop of a hat.
Yes, all of that is very bad indeed, but the worst of the worst is the psychological exam. They’re in most American applications nowadays and generally range from thirty to sixty questions; all being totalitarian in nature. ‘Do you daydream?’ ‘Would you snitch on an employee if you caught him stealing?’ ‘How do you feel about our current president?’ ‘Do you vote?’ If you don’t fill these out exactly how the corporate computer wants, your application gets automatically rejected without even a pleasant ‘go fuck yourself’. No courtesy call. No human interaction whatsoever.
See, this is why I admire the lazybones who wakes up at ten in the morning, smokes hash, lies about, does nothing to contribute to the industrial misery and mostly keeps to him or herself. They do not participate in ecological annihilation. They think ‘why be a headless chicken stressing out over a 401k and retirement? Why bother with healthcare when the stress from work alone would, ironically, kill me? Why go ape over all of this nonsense instead smelling the roses, taking a deep breath and saying ‘you know what, fuck it…this bullshit ain’t worth it…I’m going to the park for a walk then taking a long afternoon nap’. Am I saying laziness is next to godliness? Of course not, but we all could take a lesson or two from the indolent ones who outright reject this society of productive plastic podded people.
In the long run, this culture is truly not worth the effort …
… but fuck, I need a job.
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Catch Nature Bats Last on the radio with Mike Sliwa and Guy McPherson. Tune in every Tuesday at 8:00 p.m. Eastern time, or catch up in the archives here. If you prefer the iTunes version, including the option to subscribe, you can click here.
19 February – 4 March 2015, In and around New York City, New York (details below). Please RSVP for each of these events by sending a message to firstname.lastname@example.org.
22 February 2015, 6:00 – 8:00 p.m., Lippitt Auditorium, Room 402, University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island, “Panel Discussion, Near-Term Human Extinction”
24 February 2015, 7:00 – 9:30 p.m., Spoonbill Books, 218 Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn, New York, telephone 718.387.7322. Reading and signing books, with plenty of time for Q&A, wine, and cheese. Details here.
27 February 2015, 6:00 – 9:00 p.m., Project Reach, 39 Eldridge Street, Suite 4, New York, New York, “Abrupt Climate Change: How Will You Show Up During Humanity’s Final Chapter?”
1 March 2015, 6:00 p.m. Woodbine Collective, 18-84 Woodbine Street, New York, New York. Reading and signing books, with plenty of time for Q&A.
Abrupt Climate Change: How Will You Show Up During Humanity’s Final Chapter?
4-16 March, Northern California Tour organized by Peter Melton: 530-680-5550,
Peter.Melton3@gmail.com. Additional venues may be added.
11-12 March 2015, Veterans Hall, 415 North Pine Street, Nevada City, California, presentation and workshop titled, “Abrupt Climate Change: How Will You Show Up During Humanity’s Final Chapter?” Follow on Facebook here.
11 March: 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. presentation and public discussion
11 March: 8:30 – 10:00 p.m. workshop part I
12 March: 9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. workshop part II
13-14 March 2015, Chico Peace and Justice Center, 526 Broadway, Chico, California, presentation and workshop titled, “Abrupt Climate Change: How Will You Show Up During Humanity’s Final Chapter?” Follow on Facebook here.
13 March 13: 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. presentation and public discussion
13 March: 8:30 – 10:00 p.m. workshop part I
14 March: 9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. workshop part II
22 March – 3 April Boston, Massachusetts. Details to follow.
25 April 2015, 6:00 p.m., Conway Hall, 25 Red Lion Square, London, “Climate Awareness Seminar”
McPherson’s latest book is co-authored by Carolyn Baker. Extinction Dialogs: How to Live with Death in Mind is available. Electronic copy is available here from Amazon.
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