Many common, pithy expressions seem unfinished to me. I’ve taken the liberty of completing a few of them. I could go on, as regular readers know. But I don’t want to deprive you of the potential fun.
The pen is mightier than the sword. So is the rifle.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. More, if the former is a really big bird.
A chain is no stronger than its weakest link. This is depressing as hell when you realize the mediocrity of the masses.
A fool and his money are soon parted. So, how did the fool get his money in the first place?
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The step is usually into a car or an airplane.
There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And also more than one way to construct a pipe bomb. Really, what is wrong with people?
A little knowledge is dangerous. This is probably why so many people completely avoid acquiring knowledge.
A man is known by the company he keeps. Solitude suits me.
A penny saved is a penny earned. If you adjust for inflation, you’re better off spending it.
A problem shared is a problem halved. And misery loves company, so please share all your problems.
A watched pot never boils. And who has time for that anyway?
All good things come to he who waits. And all good things come to an end, so you might as well wait until the end.
Better safe than sorry. Unless you’re adventurous.
Every man has his price. And it’s a lot lower than you can possibly imagine.
He who hesitates is lost. Unless he’s looking before he’s leaping. Then he’s a genius.
Honesty is the best policy. Unless, of course, there is money involved.
Home is where the heart is. This explains all the heartless people at the workplace.
If it first you don’t succeed, try and try again. An entire lifetime of failure awaits!
It goes without saying. So, why all the talking?
It takes one to know one. But it takes two to tango.
Let bygones be bygones. Unless it’s gossip-worthy.
No man is an island. But I wish some were.
No news is good news. Unless an inheritance is involved.
Something is better than nothing. Of course if the something is a pile of shit or dead bodies, this isn’t quite true.
Time flies. Time is money. That explains why my money went away.
Catch Nature Bats Last on the radio with Kevin Hester and Guy McPherson. To listen live, tune in the first Tuesday of each month at 3:00 p.m. Eastern time, or catch up in the archives here. If you prefer the iTunes version, including the option to subscribe, you can click here. We’re on Stitcher, too.
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My latest book is available in audio, and can be purchased here. Ms. Ladybug and Mr. Honeybee: A Love Story at the End of Time is intended for ages 11 and up.
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