You Might Be a Patriarch if …

Wrapped in naivete, I’m constantly amazed at the ongoing support for patriarchy (which, for purposes of this essay, I equate with civilization, or the dominant culture). I understand we’re all deeply embedded within a patriarchal culture. I understand there’s no escape, as I’ve said and written repeatedly.

What I fail to understand is how people can continue to love a culture as thoroughly dysfunctional as this one. Failing to escape — even failing to attempt to escape — is one thing. Supporting, promoting, and loving omnicide is quite another.

Stop me if I’ve mentioned this before: When you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead, but it affects other people. It’s the same when you’re stupid a patriarch.

Inspired, ironically enough, by the words of uber-patriarch Jeff Foxworthy, I offer the following hymnal. Foxworthy was kidding. I’m not.

You might be a patriarch if you love this murderous culture. If that’s the case, then I suspect you love serial killers, too.

You might be a patriarch if you cannot imagine another way to live. If that’s the case, you might want to try psilocybins.

You might be a patriarch if your first thought of the day is whether you missed the morning bell. At the New York Stock Exchange.

You might be a patriarch if you willfully ignore the people killed by American Empire, especially the people of color. Or if you use the word, “coloreds” instead of the phrase, “people of color.”

You might be a patriarch if your name is John but you believe you’re pushing the envelope when you prefer to be called “Jack.”

You might be a patriarch if you willfully ignore the multitude of species driven to extinction by industrial civilization. After all, what’ve those species done for you lately?

You might be a patriarch if believe the current monetary system is a good idea. If it’s working for you, it must be working for everybody, right?

You might be a patriarch if you defend actions taken by the U.S. Department of Defense Offense. American Empire won’t persist without access to Middle Eastern oil.

You might be a patriarch if you believe hard work is the primary key to financial success. The simple, oft-denied fact is that most wealthy people make money the old-fashioned way: They inherit it.

You might be a patriarch if you believe the industrial economy is important for reducing poverty, instead of creating it. Or if you believe paying for food and water is right because “it’s always been this way.”

You might be a patriarch if you haven’t noticed myriad privileges associated with being a heterosexual, white man. Or if you accuse women of overreacting. Or if you still believe Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles.

You might be a patriarch if you greet a room full of adults with, “hello, boys and girls.” Or, for that matter, if you refer to a woman as a girl. Ever.

You might be a patriarch if you don’t recognize patriarchy. Or if you don’t acknowledge it as problematic.

You might be a patriarch if credentials, experience, and education don’t matter to you. The patriarchal perspective is correct regardless.

You might be a patriarch if you’re a relatively wealthy, Caucasian man. But you might be a patriarch even if you do not belong to that demographic. And, whereas that demographic doesn’t insure patriarchy, it seems to help.

I could go on, as regular readers know. But any number can play.